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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24708133">Back to where it all began.</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammynovice/pseuds/Sammynovice'>Sammynovice</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Green Arrow and the Canaries (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Angst with a Happy Ending, Bad Decisions, Childhood Trauma, Dark Past, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, F/F, Fluff and Angst, Implied/Referenced Rape/Non-con, Memories, Partial Nudity, Play Fighting, Sex, Underage Sex, Violence</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-06-13</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-04 10:40:49</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Mature</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>Rape/Non-Con, Underage</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>5</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>8,317</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24708133</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Sammynovice/pseuds/Sammynovice</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>They have a device that can invade peoples memories and need to use it on an unwilling perp, but they need to test it on one of themselves first to see how it works. Secrets are revealed, the past brought out in to the open.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Dinah Drake &amp; Earth-2 Laurel Lance, Dinah Drake &amp; Mia Smoak, Dinah Drake/Earth-2 Laurel Lance, Earth-2 Laurel Lance &amp; Mia Smoak</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>2</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>42</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>1. Chapter 1</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>They've done enough time travelling physically so why not some mind travel?<br/>Seemed like a cool way for Dinah to get an insight on Laurels past, to see how she became Black Siren.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The elevator dinged as Mia and her 2 canaries strode into Dinahs apartment in the early hours of the morning, they had been gathering Intel on their latest mark, a dirty politician with a hidden deadly agenda. </p><p>"So Cisco said you could just borrow his memory gadget thingy?" Dinah asked Laurel whilst turning the contraption pieces over in her hands with a puzzled look on her face, they looked like small headphones.</p><p>"Yes so please dont break them, last thing I need is to piss off team flash!" Laurel snapped . Besides Cisco had some pretty cool stuff and he wouldnt let her borrow them ever again if she broke this one. </p><p>They peeled off their masks and removed their make up Dinah and Mia setting up the devices and laptop whilst Laurel grabbed them all some whiskey,<br/>
" so..our plan is to capture our suspect Mr Rice? put device 1 on him and then one of us wears device 2 and we can infiltrate the bad guys memories and find out who he sold the bomb to and where they plan on using it? That right?" Laurel queried taking a sip of her whiskey.</p><p>Mia rolled her eyes " its Mr Price! And yes that's about the jist of it but hes not going to give up the memories easily he will fight it, which is why we need to test it, see how hard it is to gain access to a memory when they're resisting and when they're not! So..who wants to volunteer on getting their memories invaded?" She asked looking between Dinah and Laurel each looking at the floor avoiding eye contact, neither willing to be the subject.</p><p>"Ok, Mia sighed, let's draw straws, she got some pieces of string one shorter than the other 2 and held them out for the other 2 women to pick theirs. Laurel and Dinah glanced at each other then back at the straws apprehensively neither particularly wanting to relive certain memories. Dinah picked her straw first.. it was long which meant it was between Mia and Laurel,  Laurel sucked in a big breath and picked hers so fast balling it into her fist she didnt even see what length it was. </p><p>Mia placed her palm upwards revealing her own straw..long. Laurel unballed her fist to see the short straw, her heart sinking.<br/>
" ok so I get device 1, who gets device 2 to see my memories?" Laurel asked voice shaking slightly, she  hoped Dinah would volunteer, she cleared her throat trying to downplay her nerves shifting uncomfortably. </p><p>"That's up to you, they're your memories", Mia replied tentatively although I'm probably better working the tech gear and monitoring the results", she said suggestively. Laurel nodded subconsciously , without looking up she said " that ok with you D?" </p><p>Dinah was being very quiet she was curious to see parts of Laurels past but was scared as to what she might see, " I think we should steer clear of any memories of earth 1, we should stick to your memories on earth 2? If that's ok with you?"  Dinah placed her hand on Laurels searching her eyes for approval. </p><p>Laurels eyes were absent like she had already mentally shut herself down preparing herself for this intrusion of her mind, she was glad it was Dinah and she wasnt. What if she sees me as Siren all over again?she thought,groaning slightly. Dinah shooting her a curious look.<br/>
Sensing the vibe Mia picked up the equipment " I'll go get this all set up", she went over to do so leaving both women to themselves. </p><p>"D.. you need to promise me something", Laurel turned so they were facing each other, Dinahs hand still on hers, eyes locked on Laurels, "Promise me no matter what you see you'll remember that's not me anymore? This is me! I dont think I could handle you looking at me the way you used to when you hated me, not now we've got to where we are now..roommates..friends.." she wanted to be more than both those things but neither of them were ready for that conversation yet.<br/>
Her eyes pleaded with Dinah, taking Dinahs hand into both of hers holding it tightly, tears hiding behind her eyes threatening to fall, "D?".</p><p>" Laurel you're gonna be fine! We are gonna be fine! no matter what happens this Laurel in front of me is my Laurel..I mean our Laurel", Dinah tried to backtrack, she wished Laurels was hers. She brought Laurels hands still cupping her own close to her chest, using her other hand to brush Laurels hair out of her face. " Remember why we are doing this, for the sake of the city, this is our only way to get that information humanely ". </p><p>" I know you're right D it's just... I dont want to re watch the mistakes I made, to remember the pain I caused and suffered. This plan frickin sucks!" Laurel hung her head, slouching against the arm of the sofa, dreading what was to come.</p><p>" ready when you guys are!" Mia called over, let's get these headsets set up on you.. Dinah sat on a chair leaning back whilst Mia assembled the apparatus,  Laurel grabbed a chair spun it round and sat on it back to front leaning her chin on the back, her arms folded facing Dinah, Mia set up Laurels headgear minding not to mess up her hair too much.</p><p>"Ok good to go guys! Right I'll say something to jog a memory and the 1st one you think of Laurel you let Dinah see it, then I'll shout something else to jog a different memory you dont want Dianh to see and you have to resist letting her see it whilst Dinah you push back so you can, ok? Practice run 1" Mia went to flip the switch.</p><p>"Wait! Laurel yelled..picking up her whiskey then downing it shaking it to indicate a refill, Mia rolled her eyes and passed her the bottle. Once refilled Laurel gave her the signal she was ready..."this is gonna suck" she grumbled.</p><p>Dinah tried not to laugh at that, she took Laurels hands in hers as an act of comfort. Mia's voice interrupted their thoughts "ok guys first memory no resistance Laurel! Category Laurels first arrest!go!".</p><p>She flipped the switch and both women felt a tingle on their temples and the sensation they were dreaming...except they weren't. For Laurel she was her younger counter part all over again whereas for Dinah it was like seeing parts of a movie clip from one scene to the next, " this is trippy!" Dinah said eyes closed, holding onto Laurels hands to help ground her.</p><p>It took a few moments for their environment to become less blurred as Laurels memory focused. They were in a bedroom Dinah looking at a 16 year old Laurel looking at herself in a mirror, she was wearing converse with tight Jean's a vest top and flannel shirt and beanie hat. "wow loving the skater look Laurel!" Dinah teased,it was so weird seeing Laurel look so young yet she already looked like the world was on her shoulders. "Where are we, what is this house?" Dinah asked squeezing Laurels hands slightly.</p><p>"My foster home" Laurel replied matter of factly, this took Dinah by surprise, Laurel chuckled slightly " where did you think they sent me and Sara after our parents died?we got sent to different homes though..." The thought honestly hadnt occured to Dinah and again she gave Laurels hand a quick squeeze. They could talk about this properly later, just them.</p><p>Young Laurel was on the move grabbing her skateboard and climbing out her bedroom window shimmying down the tree outside. She put her headphones on blasting punk music sum 41 in her ears and took off down the drive in to the early evening.</p><p>Laurel chuckled as she re lived this memory skating around the town smashing car windows, knocking smaller kids over, flashing cyclists so they would crash into lamposts. " I may have been a little bit of  menace back then.." Laurel said with a hint of arrogance and pride. Young Laurel approached a police car and pulled out her sling shot, " omg you didnt!" Dinah gasped.</p><p>Laurel smiled knowing the outcome "yes I did!" She laughed as young Laurel released a hurl of stones at the police car resulting in the police sirens blaring and a chase pursued,  young Laurel on her skateboard through the park excited by the thrill of the chase, the police car parallel to her on the road. She almost got away til she saw the beautiful Brazilian girl from her year at school looking at her "Maria" the name came softly from Laurels lips " the one that got away" she smirked, Dinah felt a stab of something in her gut, was that jealousy?</p><p>Young Laurel looked at this Maria a beat too long as she tripped over a kerb sending her flying, her Walkman smashing on the pavement, the policemen got out of their car and were on her before she could get away. Handcuffed against the car she looked at Maria who gave her a shy smile and wave, young Laurel gave her a wink as her head was shoved in the back of the police car and took her away to what was the beginning of a very long criminal record.</p><p>Mia's voice cut in " ok guys back to reality", they snapped back opening their eyes groggily, " well weren't you the little shit?!" Dinah laughed as Laurel sat there with an unreadable expression " did you always hate the police?" Dinah asked raising her eyebrow, genuinely intrigued.</p><p>Laurel stared at her for a few moments before she replied softly " no.. I just did what I had to". She averted her eyes towards the ground neither realising they were still holding hands.<br/>
"What do you mean you had to?" Dinah asked confused</p><p>Mia was busy going over the brain wave activity results, Dinahs eyes never left Laurel who refused to let her eyes leave a spot on the floor. After a few moments Laurel inhaled deeply and blew puffing her  cheeks out, her face looked forlorn.<br/>
" everytime I ran away from that house the police would send me back... I would run away and live on the streets for a few weeks but they always found me and sent me back..there! They didnt even care as to why I kept running away!".</p><p>Moisture formed behind Laurels eyes she beat them back by looking up at the ceiling,  " I couldnt run away and I couldnt stay..so the only way out was being sent to Juvi". As she talked her voice got quieter ending in a whisper, she hung her head again not sure what else to say.</p><p>Dinah pulled Laurel towards her placing her hand on Laurels cheek neither of them said anything . "Laurel.." Dinah paused not knowing if she wanted to know the answer, her cop instinct telling her what she already knew. " Laurel why did you keep running away? Did somebody hurt you?" .</p><p>Laurel looked at Dinah but couldnt bring herself to answer, damn she wanted to tell Dinah everything but not with Mia here, being vulnerable with Dinah was one thing but not Mia too..she couldnt, so she just nodded ever so slightly. Dinahs heart felt like it was breaking and all she wanted to do was hold Laurel in her arms, but now wasnt the time.</p><p>Unaware of the conversation Mia came over " ok guys results looked good, did you guys get on ok Dinah did you have any trouble getting access to the memory?", Dinah shook her head smiling "No it all went well". She looked back at Laurel who was downing her 2nd glass of whiskey, she slammed it down.<br/>
"Ok next memory..let's go!".</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0002"><h2>2. Next memory</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Laurel has to face her next memory</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>"Are you ready you two? Mia asked them, finger on the switch itching to get going, Dinah you pick the category it needs to be something Laurel wont want you to see". </p><p>Dinah contemplated which memory she should choose, she sipped her whiskey looking at Laurel who was looking back at her with puppy dog eyes begging her not to dig too deep. "Ok I got it"' Dinah said putting her whiskey down taking Laurels hands back in hers, closing her eyes.</p><p>Laurel drew a sharp breath she had to trust Dinah wouldnt choose a memory that was too painful or raw, she let Dinah take her hands and closed her eyes too.<br/>
"Ok Dinah, say when", Mias voice echoed.</p><p>Dinah took a deep breath and peeking slightly at Laurel she smiled " Laurels most awkward moment!" She sniggered. This ought to be interesting...</p><p>Laurel groaned wondering which memory her subconscious was going to to throw at them, before she could stop to think they were in an apartment only this time they were both stood there, like ghosts looking around, with  no sign of memory Laurel. </p><p>"Where are we? Dinah asked, the place was nice but a bit bare yet messy, definitely Laurels place. </p><p>"My apartment back on earth 2, Laurel explained, after I returned from earth 1 I lived here, til crisis". She looked around her old apartment sadly, this had been her first home since she turned her life around.</p><p>Dinah was confused " how is this an awkward moment for you"? She quizzed. She had expected to see a young Laurel again in high school or something not something so recent...</p><p>A loud moan coming from the bedroom answered that question, both women just looked at each other Laurels face turned a deep pink as the moaning got louder, " we are out of here!" Laurel said pointing at Dinah as she tried to force Dinah from her mind, everything went blurry as Laurel tried expelling Dinah from her memory.  </p><p>" I dont think so sweetheart!" Dinah laughed as she pushed back,  her forehead frowning with concentration as the room slowly came back in to focus. Before Laurel could regain herself Dinah ran down the hallway towards the bedroom where the moaning was getting louder.</p><p>"No!" Laurel cried as she tried forcing this memory out of her head, their surroundings vibrated as they pushed back against each other, Laurel could feel a headache coming on already. Dinah was almost to the bedroom Laurel couldnt let her see this memory she would never hear the end of it! "D dont go in there!" Laurel cried out as she tried once more to erase this memory but failing. </p><p>Dinah looked back to see Laurel head in her hands trying desperately to stop this memory, she could feel her surroundings slipping from beneath her, the door turning to fog as Laurel started to push her out of her mind. Dinah wanted to see this memory and dammit she was going to! She frowned as she focused on the door pushing back against Laurel. </p><p>Realising she couldnt win this way Laurel tried a different approach and ran at Dinah but she was already walking through the door like a ghost "D.. no !" Laurel ran through the door behind her stopping on the other side next to her.</p><p>Dinah was stood there in shock taking in the scene before her, memory Laurel was lying on the bed under the covers with a naked woman on top of her, Laurel was the one moaning and getting close to climax by the sound of it.</p><p>"Oh my god!" Dinah looked at Laurel next to her who was now a deep shade of red trying to bury her face in her hands, Dinah had not been expecting this... a stab of jealousy went through her gut as she watched this woman fucking Laurel, "who is that?" She asked Laurel, she still wasnt sure how this memory was supposed to be an awkward moment ...</p><p>Laurels hand gripping her arm made her tear her eyes away for a brief moment "Ashely shes someone I started seeing not long after I came back to this earth, now come on we are leaving right now!"  Laurel shouted as she tried to push away the memory once more...</p><p>Mias voice cut through the air "push back Dinah dont let her block you!". Mia had no idea what was going on in there and as curious as she was she felt she was better off not knowing.</p><p>Laurel knew she was almost out of time but no matter how hard she tried pushing Dinah out she just pushed back harder..she really wanted to see how this played out...</p><p>Dinah couldnt take her eyes off memory Laurel watching her have sex!Dinah felt her own cheeks turning pink, she could feel herself getting aroused just watching Laurel getting close to climax. How she would love to be the one on top of her Laurel, making her moan like this.</p><p> She turned to look at her Laurel who was massaging her temples still trying to push her out and the resigned look on her face when she realised she couldnt. </p><p>Memory Laurel climaxed as she did so she screamed "fuck..YES...DINNNAHHH!!"</p><p>The room fell silent Dinah looking at Laurel eyes wide  mouth agape, but Laurels face was buried in her hands her face bright red, omg she felt like it was on fire! They were still holding hands in the real world she could feel her palms sweating!</p><p>"You called out the wrong name?" Dinah gasped and laughed at the same time omg this was too brilliant. Laurel had an orgasm calling out her name! Her name! What did this mean?<br/>
She could feel Laurels hands sweating in hers and Laurel tried pulling away Dinah grabbed her wrists holding on to their contact.</p><p>Laurel had never wanted the ground to swallow her up more than right now in this moment! This was even more embarrassing than living this memory first time around...</p><p>"What the fuck Laurel who the hell is Dinah?" The brunette on top of memory Laurel slapped her round the face, hard. She got off her and started grabbing her things pulling her clothes on angrily. </p><p>Memory Laurel was nursing the red mark on her face trying to cover herself with the duvet " Ash I'm sorry, babe please dont go..BABE!" But the brunette huffed out of the room yelling<br/>
"dont call me again!"  And slammed the door.</p><p>The memory faded to fog and they were sat in Dinahs apartment again neither of them saying anything, Mia came bounding over " ok guys give me the details..on the objective!"she added quickly.<br/>
This time it was Dinahs turn to down her glass of whiskey...</p><p>They briefed Mia on how hard it was regarding pushing someone out of a memory and concluded if Laurel couldnt expel Dinah from her memory then this Mr Price had no chance.<br/>
It was a winning result.</p><p>Dinah wasnt sure what to think, it was a great outcome for the mission and the fact that Laurel had called out her name whilst having an orgasm with another woman made her feel ecstatic She couldnt wipe the stupid grin off her face Laurel wanted her! She obviously thought about her during sex... but Laurel hadnt spoken to her since they'd come back, she had been avoiding Dinah.</p><p>Laurel was talking to Mia about something as Dinah approached, soon as she saw Dinah she went beetroot red and walked away... "Laurel.." Dinah started but Laurel pretended not to hear her.</p><p>"Do I even want to know what happened in there exactly?" Mia asked raising her eyebrow a knowing look on her face...<br/>
Dinah shook her head and wished her goodnight, as Mia went to leave all the equipment still out Dinah called her  "dont you need to turn all this off?".</p><p>Mia spun back around "Laurel asked me to leave it on, said there was some things she wanted to show you.." she looked at Dinah and smiled then walked to the elevator heading home.</p><p>Laurel reappeared holding 2 fresh glasses of whiskey she handed one to Dinah "are we gonna talk about what happened?" Dinah asked as Laurel stood there awkwardly avoiding eye contact.</p><p>"I'd rather not..Laurel started, I want to talk about ..that and I promise I will just...I need to show you some things first if you're not too tired? I... i want to share parts of me with you". As she said this Laurel kept stroking the back of her hair out of nerves, her eyes finally reaching Dinahs.</p><p>She knew Dinah had never seen her as earth 1 Laurel and just seen her but now she wanted Dinah to see more of her..parts of herself she had never shared with anyone.<br/>
Dinah tried to stay calm but her heart was pounding in her chest she knew this was a big deal for Laurel, for both of them.</p><p>"Ok", was all Dinah said, smiling softly at Laurel, they put the devices back on but this time they sat on the floor cross legged facing each other, holding each others hands again. Laurels face was soft, her eyes showing her vulnerability, Dinah gave her hands a squeeze for encouragement. 
"So what is it you want to show me?".</p>
  </div></div>
<a name="section0003"><h2>3. The bad man</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Laurel reveals her worst memory to Dinah.</p>
          </blockquote><b>Notes for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>This chapter got rather dark.</p></blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>They sat there cross legged on the floor holding hands Laurel trying to keep her breathing calm, "maybe this is a mistake" she thought to herself, once she shows Dinah these memories theres no going back, she didnt want Dinah looking at her like a victim. </p><p>She wasnt a victim she was a survivor, she did what she'd had to to survive in her world, her world broke her..took apart her humanity bit by bit. Quentin, Felicity, and Dinah had been big parts in restoring her faith in humanity and herself, taught her to be better, to feel her own self worth. But they never knew how she became Siren in the 1st place, she wouldnt have told them anyway..not back then. </p><p>Things were different now, she didnt know why but she felt like she was ready to share this part of herself with Dinah, to give a part of herself to her, it felt like she was showing her her soul It was terrifying. </p><p>"You ok pretty bird?" No reply, Dinah looked at Laurels blank expression with worry, she had completely checked out "Laurel?" She squeezed her hands pulling Laurel out of her thoughts.</p><p>"Sorry D I was just thinking ...was there anything in particular you would like to see before .. well..just before we start?" Laurel held Dinahs gaze afraid if Dinah let go of her hands right now she wouldnt be able to stop herself from bottling it.</p><p>"I'll save mine for the end", Dinah replied feeling Laurel holding her hands just a little too hard, she squeezed them back and smiled at her trying to comfort her. She never would have thought she would be sat here  with Laurel about to bare her soul to her, it made her feel warm inside that Laurel wanted to do this for her. She had to feel the same way.. didnt she?</p><p>"What I'm about to show you I've never told anyone about.." Laurels voice was shaky, her gaze drawn down to their hands. "When our parents died i was only 13 and Sara and I were sent to different foster homes they couldnt keep us together which I hated at the time but now I'm grateful for". She could feel a lump in her throat preventing her from speaking anymore, </p><p>Passing Dinah the headsets they put them on, "you got the mobile device for the switch?" Dinah asked.</p><p>"Yea Mia showed me how to use it..ready?". Laurel asked shakily already feeling sick.</p><p>"Yea pretty bird whenever you're ready". Dinah smiled encouragingly, Laurel smiling back at the nickname she secretly loved.</p><p>Taking a few deep breaths Laurel held the switch willing herself to press the button, Dinah sat there patiently not pushing her, this was something Laurel needed to do, she caressed the back of Laurels hand with her thumb, this seemed to calm Laurels breathing down a bit, then with one deep breath she pressed the button and their temples tingled once more.</p><p>Dinah waited for the scene to clear she was in a small bedroom looking at a young teenage Laurel, her own Laurel stood beside her, not taking her eyes off her younger self. Memory Laurel was sat on her bed reading.</p><p>Being back in this room was making Laurels stomach churn, her heart having palpitations, the room was bare and dingy, mould on every wall..a sad excuse for a house ..never a home.just hell.</p><p>A bang on the door made Dinah jump she almost let go of her Laurels hands back in her apartment, memory Laurel also jumped..off her bed and towards the window ready to run. Adult Laurel stood there motionless, expressionless watching her younger self..the fear in her eyes.</p><p>"Laurel!, a little voice yelled "please let me in Laurel" a few more bangs, the little voice pleading with Laurel getting more desperate.  Young Laurel ran to the door undoing the make shift lock she had made to let the little girl in, redoing the lock right after.</p><p> "Who's the little girl?" Dinah asked looking at her Laurel, sensing Laurel was struggling with this memory Dinah stood as close to her Laurel as she could hoping it would come across as comforting. </p><p>"My foster sister Leigh, I was there for 3 years, at first I didnt want to know any of the other kids but after a while I saw her as my sister and as I never got to see Sara anymore it helped having her around".</p><p>"What do you want squirt?" Young Laurel teased her pushing Leigh away as she tried to come in for a hug eventually giving in and letting herself be  cuddled. </p><p>"The bad mans been drinking, can I stay in here tonight please?" She begged. Young Laurel groaned "yea of course you can squirt, I didnt realise she had taken him back".  Her eyes constantly on the door, listening out for any sound of raised voices from downstairs. </p><p>"Mummy only took him back yesterday". Leigh was still hugging young Laurel, "he scares me". Young Laurel pulled Leigh onto her lap, "hey you dont need to worry squirt ok?, I'll protect you ok? You're safe". Young Laurel held her little sister meaning every word.</p><p>Dinah turned to her Laurel who was incredibly quiet, her eyes on the door waiting, knowing the evil that would be finishing his last beer about now. Dinahs touch on her shoulder broke her out of her trance, Dinah opened her mouth about to speak when footsteps creaking in the hallway caused all of them to look towards the door.</p><p>Squirt let out a little squeak, young Laurel jumped up grabbing Leigh's hand and running to the wardrobe, "get in your hiding spot and do not move until I come to get you!understand?no matter what you stay put?!" Laurel gripped Leigh tight her eyes were wide with fright as she nodded her head quickly. She got in to her hiding place, young Laurel covering her up with clothes, "put this Walkman on and dont take it off ok?everything's gonna be ok!" </p><p>"Dinah grabbed Laurels hand shaking it "Laurel what's happening?" She could hear her voice getting all squeaky, "Laurel?"</p><p>Laurel tore her eyes off her younger self to look at Dinah, "this was where it all began.." her voice cracking slightly, her eyes lacked their shiny mischief and were just empty.</p><p>Footsteps coming down the corridor brought them back they would stop then start then stop and start again, every time they started again young Laurel would back further away from the door, she couldnt go out the window..not now her little sis was in here.</p><p>"Why do the footsteps keep stopping and starting?" Dinah asked confused, both her Laurels were terrified and she couldnt do anything to help them, Dinah felt useless.<br/>
"Hes choosing" Laurel whispered, Dinah didnt have to ask what she meant...</p><p> The footsteps grew closer until they stopped right outside her door, Laurel looked at her younger self she was so scared she was holding her breath just stood frozen at the end of the bed, that fear never went away it just turned in to hate which Laurel had used, became Siren...</p><p>A loud bang as he kicked the door, "Open this fucking door you little shit!" Came the slurred words from the other side, another kick, and another. The door burst open as a large man entered the room staggering towards young Laurel, "since when the fuck did you get a lock!" He slurred. Young Laurel held her ground, not saying anything just stood there trying to look tough.</p><p>Dinah squeezed Laurels hand "why arent you running or trying to fight or cry?" She didnt think she could stay to watch what she felt was about to happen.</p><p>"Had to protect her...was all Laurel could say as she felt tears running down her cheeks, the sight of the bad man making her skin crawl, "couldn't run..had to protect her..I didnt get my cry til I was 18...didnt learn to fight til Juvi I was still just a kid myself.</p><p>"Come here kid" the bad man pointed at the bed, young Laurel stayed exactly where she was, "fuck you!" She shouted as she tried to punch her abuser, he may have been drunk but one thing he could do was fight. He pinned Laurel to the ground punching her in the side til she was so winded she couldnt scream. He climbed on top of her beating her til she was sobbing.</p><p>Dinah couldnt take this anymore "Laurel I've seen enough can we end this?" But Laurel stood there looking on reliving the moment where the bad man beat her and then had his way with her..her younger self sobbing. </p><p>Dinah couldnt watch, she felt the sick coming she wanted to cover her ears to block out this horrific attack but didnt want to let go of Laurels hand as Laurel was holding it so tight her knuckles were white. She wanted out of this memory right now, she couldnt bear to witness anymore. </p><p>She slapped Laurel so hard everything instantly became fog and they were back on her apartment floor... Dinah felt her stomach turn as she grabbed a nearby grocery bag and vomited, Laurel rolled onto all fours holding her gut as she vomited on the floor, both if them were sweating.</p><p>They sat there for a few minutes panting Dinah trying to process the horror of what she had just witnessed.  There were no words, she looked at Laurel who was still holding her stomach as if she had felt that beating again. She broke down sobbing.</p><p>Dinah didnt hesitate she grabbed Lauel into her arms and held her there as her body shook and the tears fell down both their faces. Laurel let Dinah hold her, she felt her stroking her hair, felt her humming, felt Dinahs tears as they fell off her face on to Laurels. </p><p>They stayed like that for some time, until Laurel pulled away exhausted, "sorry about the puke D, least I missed the carpet".<br/>
She attempted at humour but Dinah was having none of it,  "I'm getting a mop and bucket whilst you go get in to your pyjamas,  then you're gonna tell me what the fuck I just saw!".</p><p>She was so angry, she knew that was gonna  be a bad memory but that... just thinking about it made her feel sick, she wished the flashbacks would stop. She downed a glass of whiskey the glass shaking in her hand, she poured herself another and one for Laurel, who came down in one of Dinahs sweatpants and t shirts.</p><p>Dinah stood in the kitchen as Laurel sat at the counter, downing her whiskey in one gulp, "I'm sorry you had to see..."<br/>
"What the fuck Laurel you could have warned me! Dinah cut her off "what..why..wrong..shouldnt have happened..." Dinah couldnt form a sentence she was still in shock.</p><p>"Am I supposed to put all those words together or are you going to form a sentence at some point?" Laurel asked with no bite to it. Dinah put her hands on the side in front of Laurel their faces close, "Laurel.." Dinah took her hands in hers, "explain..why you showed me that particular memory".</p><p>"Our foster mums boyfriend was in to young girls," Laurel tried to keep her voice steady. " I would hide my lil sis whenever he was on... the prowl shall we say? Sometimes he would just beat the shit out of me or one of the other kids, other times he would ..do that.. I couldnt leave Leigh there unprotected"..</p><p>"So you would hide her and take..the beating?". Dinah cleared her throat, feeling like she could vomit again. </p><p>"Yea luckily for Leigh she got adopted, a nice family in the city, I checked on her when I was older. After I knew she was safe that's when I started running away, living on the streets, til Juvi".<br/>
Laurel paused, feeling raw and exposed, she desperately wanted Dinah to hold her again but darent ask.</p><p>Dinah stood there for what felt like forever, "I'm so sorry you went through that Laurel, that's.. that's the moment you became Siren?" She asked unsure.</p><p>"No that  was the moment I stopped being Laurel.. I learnt to fight in Juvi, met oliver in there til his daddy paid someone off to get him out, yea my Oliver was a bad boy". She smiled at the surprised expression on Dinahs face.</p><p>"Yea Oliver on my earth was always in trouble but we met in Juvi and fell for each other, after I got out I got my canary cry so went back to visit old foster mums boyfriend..he was still there..he was my first kill. I killed him with my cry".</p><p>Dinahs face must have shown her shock but she couldnt really blame Laurel , the system had failed her, everyone had failed her..her heart broke at the thought of young Laurel alone in the world, broken.</p><p>"After him I went after that guy that killed my dad due to drink driving, after that I docked the name Black Siren and went from one bad partner to another commiting crime". Laurel sat there nursing her empty glass when she felt Dinahs hands on her once more.</p><p>"What happened after...just after?" Dinah asked.<br/>
"I went and showered... get his stench off of me and cry, then I went back to my room to check on Leigh who had fallen asleep, I put her in bed with me and stayed up all night..just in case.."</p><p>"In case he came back?" Dinah finished.<br/>
Laurel nodded, she was emotionally drained so was Dinah.<br/>
"I think that's enough for one night, you can sleep in with me tonight." She packed up the equipment Laurel just watched, she didnt put up a fight when Dinah held out her hand and led her upstairs. </p><p>They led there in Dinahs bed, Laurel with her back to Dinah, "Laurel?" Dinah said quietly in case she was already asleep,<br/>
"yea D?"</p><p>"Can I cuddle you?" She asked softly, not knowing if Laurel wanted to be touched or not.</p><p>Laurel turned over to face her, "yes please". She cuddled in to Dinah, Dinah holding her slightly tighter than necessary but Laurel didnt mind. For the first time in a long long time ..she felt safe.</p>
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<a name="section0004"><h2>4. Happily ever after?</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Laurel shows Dinah the last memory</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Dinah woke up first Laurel sound asleep still in her arms snoring softly making Dinah smile, safe to say things were going to be different now more to do with them cuddling than the memory. She dreaded Laurel showing her any more, the images from last night would haunt her forever.</p><p>She got herself up and went to work down on the bar Laurel could have a lay in, would do her good to get some rest besides it was the first time she had slept in a bed in weeks Dinah might not be able to get her out again!</p><p>It was getting late by the time Dinah finished on the bar she came up expecting to see Laurel but there was no sign of her anywhere, she checked her phone and was relieved to see a message.</p><p>"Mia and I used the equipment on Mr Price, we got the location on the bomb and the buyers, it couldn't wait so we had to go without you sorry D, the bomb is disarmed but the buyers got away. Can we have Chinese tonight?".</p><p>Typical Laurel Dinah chuckled, she was sad to have missed out on all the action but at least the equipment had worked and the city was safe again, for now.</p><p> </p><p>They finished their Chinese Dinah polishing off the last vegetable spring roll, Laurel sitting opposite Dinah on the couch their legs up to the side of each other. </p><p>"What are we watching tonight?" Dinah prompted.</p><p>"I dont know what's on?" Laurel shrugged.</p><p>Dinah laughed "I meant what memory are you going to show me tonight? Only if you want to of course ". </p><p>"Oh yea..right I promised Cisco I'd bring it back tomorrow, um yea there is one more I'd like to share with you..nothing like the last one I promise.." she put her hands up seeing the look on Dinahs face.</p><p>"Ok you go set it up", Dinah said clearing the plates away, watching her blonde beauty get up walking over to the technology. Laurel caught Dinah staring at her and smiled shyly, Dinah blushed she had to tell Laurel how she felt soon or she was gonna burst.</p><p>They sat down drink in one hand holding each others hand with their free hand. "Ok so what are you showing me Laurel?" Dinah asked she didnt want to be blind sided again.</p><p>"Ok so Oliver was my 1st love as you know til he ran off with my sister on the Gambit and got her killed".. she paused "Well after he died I started going to dojo which is where I learnt to do martial arts and i fell in love with someone there, that was the last time I ever loved anyone...". She watched Dinah for a reaction.</p><p>"Ok let's go then pretty bird", Dinah said smiling putting her coffee down. Laurel took her hands in hers took a breath and pressed the button. </p><p>They were in an alleyway at night black siren and a female companion were cackling away celebrating a big heist theyd just pulled off together. </p><p>Seeing black siren once more right in front of her made Dinah instinctively tense up, a squeeze on her hand made her turn to her Laurel her beautiful features so soft... nothing like her evil young counterpart. It was so weird to see Siren who she hated, then turn to see her Laurel looking at her so softly, her eyes sad, regretful. </p><p>"Who's your partner in crime? You both seem pretty hyped up". She probed as they started to follow Siren. </p><p>"She was the dojo teachers daughter Esra Lamar , same age as me, she was supposed to take over the place when he died but it got burnt down by rioters during a blackout , he was trapped inside. So I talked her into a life of crime ...with me. She wasnt meta but she taught me all the martial arts I know". </p><p>They followed Siren and Esra down to the docks, Dinah and Laurel stopped, hanging back. "I know they cant see us because it's a memory but I'd prefer not to get too close". Dinah looked to her Laurel who just nodded in agreement.  "So you two were partners in crime who became a couple?"Dinah asked, Laurel kept looking ahead at the young lovebirds.</p><p>"She was my wife". </p><p>Dinah stood there gobsmacked! Laurel was married?! "What?..You're?..you're married?" She kept sputtering the words out but they didnt sound right, Laurel married?" </p><p>"I was..I mean we were...". Laurel tried to explain. </p><p>Dinah turned back to the young lovers just as Esra was getting on one knee proposing to Siren, Siren smiling taking her fiance into her arms". Laurel smiled at the memory "I know I wasnt a good person back then but I was so happy in that moment, I thought we were going to spend our lives together which is a risky thing to do when you're a criminal,  you're not supposed to dream of a happy ending... I brought out the worst in her but she brought out the best in me..well kind of", she chuckled. </p><p>"Wh..what happened?" Dinah was still in shock 'she fucking blind sided me again', she thought angrily. "You said she 'was your wife'...what happened? Did ..did she die?". Dinah ignored the small part of her that hoped this was true.</p><p>"No worse..she broke my heart", Laurel looked at Dinah as the image of the young lovebirds in the background melted away and they were at the wedding, Dinah watching Laurel and Esra dancing in a small reception room with a few less than desirables watching on. </p><p>"We didn't have a big wedding due to having alot of enemies etc", Laurel smirked. "We were only married for 6 months.." she watched as Siren twirled her bride around the dance floor.</p><p>Dinah looked on unamused at Sirens happy face"so what happened after 6 months?" She grumbled looking at Laurel.</p><p>"Well I finally told her where I'd stashed my share of our money in off shore accounts  we were supposed to leave for the Maldives the next day...except I came back from doing a job that night to find her gone..along with all my money, I had over a million stashed away and she took it all". Laurel said impassively.</p><p>To Dinahs amazement Laurel started laughing and the wedding melted away to reveal Siren in the next memory coming back to her empty apartment, the look on her face when the realisation hit her what her wife had done. ..</p><p>"First Oliver's betrayal then that..it was too much. I gave up on love that day, never let anyone in again..til you D". </p><p>Dinah gasped looking at Laurel tearing her eyes away from Siren who was smashing up the apartment using her sonic wave to display her grief, the apartment and Siren slipped away.</p><p>They sat back in Dinahs apartment, both of them just staring at each other waiting for the other to speak first.</p><p>Sensing Dinah was still in shock Laurel went first, "D I've wanted to tell you how I feel but you needed to see...you needed to see why I struggle with this..all of this", she used her arms to help make her point.<br/>
"I didnt think after Esra I'd be able to love again D and I didnt for over a decade! Then you came and weasled your way into my heart and....it scares me to feel this way again..". </p><p>Dinah sat there still trying to take it all in 'so you're technically still married?" Was all she could muster.</p><p>"No..at least I dont think so..I mean she was on earth 2 when crisis hit I mean the chances of her being alive on this earth are pretty slim.." she joked, stopping when she saw the expression on Dinahs face. "After a few years of her being gone I blackmailed a judge into making the marriage license disappear so no I'm not married, it's like we never were". Laurel looked down suddenly shy.</p><p>Dinah took in a deep breath and exhaled  after a little while she looked at Laurel "so you like me huh?" She smirked. </p><p>Laurel blushed looking away "yes D I do". </p><p>"Bit premature for 'I do's isnt it?" Dinah teased. Enjoying watching as Laurels face turned a darker shade of pink. </p><p>"Shut up!" Laurel smacked her playfully on the arm, Dinah laughed smacking her back.</p><p>"I feel the same way Laurel I've wanted to tell you but I didnt know if you felt the same way..then I saw you scream my name whilst having sex with someone else!" Dinah laughed pointing at Laurel "i still cant believe you did that!that's so embarrassing!". Tears started falling down Dinahs cheeks, Laurel grabbed a cushion and started hitting her with it. </p><p>A full on play fight broke out resulting with Laurel on top, Dinah still laughing, she pulled Laurel closer so she was led on top of her Dinah taking her weight.</p><p>"I love you pretty bird and I promise never to hurt you or betray your trust if you're willing to give us a chance?". Dinah bit her lip hoping Laurel would take this leap with her.</p><p>"I love you too D..I wouldnt have shown you if I didnt..I just wanted you to see where Siren started because you already know where she ended" she looked away breaking eye contact Dinahs hand on her chin slowly guided her back her eyebrow raised expecting more.</p><p>"Thank you for showing me your memories Laurel" she started stroking Laurels face, now how about we make some new ones together?like right now?" She winked putting her hand behind Laurels kneck pulling her in.</p><p>Laurel smiled letting her pull her in to a kiss, pressing herself into Dinah, she never thought she would love again let alone find her soulmate, I guess happy endings did exist after all.</p>
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<a name="section0005"><h2>5. Chapter 5</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Summary for the Chapter:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
            <p>Dinah shares one of her memories...</p>
          </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>The morning after Laurel woke up in Dinahs arms, Dinah was still sleeping snoring softly making Laurel smile she felt like a weight had been lifted.</p><p>"You have my heart you know that?", she whispered to her sleeping beauty planting a soft kiss on her cheek before getting up and heading down to make them both some coffee.</p><p>Opening her eyes smiling watching her now girlfriend leave their bedroom Dinah grinned happily, "you have mine too pretty bird".</p><p>-</p><p>Dinah came down to see Laurel sat at the kitchen counter with a rather smug look on her face.</p><p>"Good morning ", Dinah grinned helping herself to the cup Laurel had made for her.</p><p>"Good morning ", Laurel smirked back, the memory gadget in front of her.</p><p>"What's that smug face for?", Dinah raised her eyebrows suspiciously sensing something was brewing.</p><p>"You owe me a memory", Laurel said playfully putting her hand on top of Dinahs, Dinah happily taking it running her thumb over it.</p><p>"Oh?", Dinah smirked "and what makes you think that?".</p><p>"I showed you mine its only fair you show me yours?", Laurel said pouting.</p><p>"Youre adorable when you pout you know that?", Dinah said feigning being annoyed.</p><p>"I know", Laurel smirked triumphantly.</p><p>"After coffee", Dinah said.</p><p>"After coffee", Laurel agreed.</p><p>Dinah gazed fondly at Laurel blushing slightly when Laurel caught her looking at her.</p><p>"What?", Laurel grinned.</p><p>"Nothing", Dinah mused, "just thinking how incredible in bed you were last night". </p><p>Laurel beamed at her surprised at the praise "weren't so bad yourself", she chuckled.</p><p>"Not so bad?" Dinah challenged "right that's it get upstairs I want a do over!". Laurel squealed as Dinah literally chased her up the stairs.</p><p>-</p><p>A few hours later...</p><p>"Ok I need to get this equipment back to Cisco so come on!", Laurel dragged her girlfriend over to the couch.</p><p>"Ok fine", Dinah put the device on her head as Laurel took the other. "What is it you want to see?", Dinah asked shuffling closer to her girlfriend til they were almost an each others lap.</p><p>Laurel had been thinking about it for a while so was prepared, she smiled arrogantly.</p><p>"I want to see the first time you knew you were in love with me". </p><p>Dinah smiled fondly at that memory as their world melted away and they were once more in Dinahs bar, Dinah saw herself sat at her piano singing.</p><p>"Wait this is the day..", Laurel started.</p><p>"The day you came to 2040", Dinah confirmed. A few seconds later memory Laurel came in through the door.</p><p>"Excuse me I'm looking for the owner", she said to Dinahs bartender as he pointed her to where Dinah was sat singing.</p><p>Laurel watched her memory form walk over to Dinah in awe "I remember thinking wow she can really sing, and I'd forgotten just how beautiful you were", Laurel said softly looking at her Dinah taking her hand.</p><p>"You made me say the wrong lyrics", Dinah  chuckled giving Laurels hand a squeeze.</p><p>"I did?" Laurel said surprised.</p><p>"Listen", Dinah smiled.</p><p>"I'm in love with you", Dinah sang.</p><p>"See", Dinah grinned "as soon as I saw you I thought how beautiful you were and then those words just rolled off the tongue, lucky for me you didnt know the actual lyrics are, 'I love you".</p><p>"I never realised", Laurel gasped cursing herself for missing that.</p><p>"I knew as soon as I saw you again that I wanted to be with you, but I had no idea how you felt so i didnt say anything". Dinah chuckled "wish I had said something could have saved us both some time". </p><p>"We will have to make up for it!", Laurel grinned wickedly as the memory melted away leaving them back in Dinahs apartment.</p><p>Laurel removed the headgear jumping on Dinah, Dinah only just removing her headgear in time before Laurel was on top of her giggling. </p><p>"Dont you have to get this stuff back to Cisco?" Dinah giggled in between kisses. </p><p>"He can wait", Laurel chuckled planting kisses all over Dinahs kneck making Dinah laugh as Laurels nose tickled her kneck.</p><p>Poor Cisco would have to wait til tomorrow...</p>
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